don't you tell me how i feel.

back in the saddle…kinda by v
November 6, 2012, 8:14 am
Filed under: eh, shit i expected to hate

I’ve been a giant, ridiculous Aerosmith fan for most of my life. As a teenager, I so idolized Steven Tyler that I would paint black stripes down my nails, hoping it would confer some of his coolness on me. But at this point, I’d be perfectly happy for them to rest on their graying laurels, enjoy a boozy rock-star retirement, and allow us to pretend that Get A Grip was their final musical effort.

However, they clearly have other plans, which include releasing a new album of original material, aspirationally titled Music From Another Dimension.

(Side note here on aging rockers: As Steele recently pointed out to me when I groaned about this, Keith Richards has already tersely addressed the “why don’t you stop already, old dude” question in his autobiography, Life: “I am not doing it just for the money or for you. I am doing it for me.” Touché.)

All of that said, I was really bracing myself for something atrocious and/or embarrassing with “Beautiful,” the first single. The reality is far less offensive.* Yes, it opens with a grunt and rhymes “fire” with “desire.” Yes, it suggests that you “spread your wings and let it fly,” whatever that means. But it’s really just inoffensive, formulaic, late-model Aerosmith: strutting Joe Perry guitar riffs and an arena-ready chorus, wrung into long syllables with typical Tyler wordlust (“BEE-YOU-TEE-FULL!”). In short: not my thing, but FM rock radio and a nostalgic fan base will surely eat it up.

And now it’s time for a classic.

*except for the part where he whispers, which is straight-up unbearable


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