don't you tell me how i feel.

We will never ever like Taylor Swift. Like, ever by Steele

My issues with Taylor Swift are varied and numerous. But even for her, this new single is…let’s just say she’s outdone herself.

*This is a huge pop move for someone who’s supposed to be “country.” And let me be the first to warn you all: It’s going to be a huge hit. You know who produced this? Max Motherfucking Martin, the Swedish wizard responsible for Britney’s “Baby One More Time,” the Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way,” Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone,” Katy Perry’s first few hits and Ace of Base’s entire career.

*Yet, somehow, it’s NOT CATCHY. Not at all. It’s wordy and awkwardly paced. I don’t often admit this, but this chick does have a knack for writing pop hooks. And this just isn’t anywhere in the league of her previous atrocities.

*Taylor Swift is 22 years old. Is it me, or is she actually reverse-aging? This could easily have come directly from the pages of a 15-year-old girl’s diary. A 12-year-old’s! Is this shit supposed to be cute?

*Muzzy heard this song once on the radio, as I did, and immediately freaked out to a serious degree. He listens to Usher on the radio without complaint, even Flo Rida, but I’m pretty sure this made him near-homicidal with rage.

*Finally, this is really beside the point, but I kind of get the sense that this whole thing is based on  fundamental misunderstanding on TayTay’s part. Doesn’t it seem like the guy here is making a booty call, and she’s misreading it to mean that he wants them to get married and live forever in a castle made of fairies and rainbows?

Taylor Swift, I hate you. That is all.

P.S. Although if it turns out this song is directed at John Mayer, I might be persuaded to revise my opinion in a slightly more positive fashion.


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