don't you tell me how i feel.

Hard labor – on the dance floor by Steele
June 7, 2011, 6:52 am
Filed under: danceable, electronic, haha, not-new music, Shit I love, wow

It’s past time that we at Don’t You Tell Me How I Feel introduce you to Euromotion. V and Steele were first exposed to this band on a day that was full of the sort of wacky hijinks not usually found outside of sitcoms: we attended a Woodstock-esque mini music festival hosted by friends’ bands in New Hampshire, the police threatened to shut down the party, we met someone called “Old Man Fletcher,” people everywhere kept talking about how they hoped this one guy was going to show up who we never actually saw, and Steele was the unwitting recipient of a “love potion” meant for our friend Michael. The day was made all the more memorable when we heard the strains of Euromotion drifting out of a boom box that was hooked up to a car.

Euromotion was a Portland, Oregon-based band that pretended to be German and from the future. But let’s hear it in their own words, from their really awesome website:

“If you are new to Euromotion, you will quickly come to realize that your life has been a waste until this very moment. Euromotion came from the year 3012 to teach us about the dance churches of the future. They brought with them their sacred songs in order to educate us. There is only one true religion, and that religion is Euromotion. Sadly, mankind will likely not realize this until it is too late.”

On that August day in 2006, hearing these songs left us speechless with delight. “Lost in Time and Space” describes a hero who “should be looking for the girl – but I can’t stop dancing!!!”  My favorite, and probably V’s, is the incredible “Dance Move Burglar,” in which a copycat is is chastised for his unoriginality: “In the twisted logic of a criminal mind, it is a victimless crime/to plagiarize my moves. The dance floor ultimately pays the price/Unless you innovate, nothing will improve.” The punishment for such fiendishness? “Report you to the dance police/They’re going to make you pay/Hard labor on the dance floor/It’s the least that you deserve.”

Sadly, says the writer of said website, Euromotion are no longer with us:

“There are many theories as to what has happened to them. Some claim that they returned to the future, while others claim that they have returned to the past. I personally believe they are trapped in time on May 5th, 2007, which is the last time they logged into MySpace.”

But we’ll always have the songs. Everybody work it, hard labor style.


1 Comment so far
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i didn’t think it was possible to love them more than i already did. and then i saw that dancing cat.

Comment by v

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